I've mentioned in previous reviews that slasher films aren't my favorite sub-genre of horror movies, as I prefer the gialli and supernatural horror films from the 1970s that influenced them. Or maybe I just prefer movies from the 1970s in general because even my favorite slasher films were made before 1980. That isn't to say that I dislike '80s slashers, I just usually prefer to watch films which belong to other sub-genres of exploitation and horror. Having said that, The Burning is probably one of the better slashers that I've seen which came out after Friday the 13th. But I'm no connoisseur.
This movie is kind of like Friday the 13th (1980) meets A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) meets the Weinstein brothers - even though The Burning came out several years before Wes Craven's movie and Bob Weinstein claims he helped write the script for this movie before Friday the 13th came out. Anyway, Harvey Weinstein produced the film and Bob was one of the writers and they eventually went on to establish a movie making empire with Miramax Films and then The Weinstein Company. Tom Savini also did the special effects for The Burning so, you know, it has that going for it. It also features a young George Costanza a.k.a. Jason Alexander.
A group of kids at summer camp play a prank on the crusty old janitor but it goes horribly wrong. His cabin catches fire, he's engulfed in flames and he becomes a disfigured, murderous monster known as Cropsy. Years later, Cropsy is released from whatever institution he had been staying at and returns to the camp to do some killin'. With a pair of hedge clippers he starts hacking up of all of those damn teenagers... with their long hair and their make-out parties. It is a slasher after all so there really isn't much of a plot, and there doesn't need to be.
In my opinion, the two hallmarks of a good slasher film are quality boobies and lots of blood and The Burning has an ample amount of sweet teenage funbags, and some of Cropsy's kills are simultaneously gruesome and entertaining. The raft scene, for instance, put a smile on my face. So overall, I give this movie a thumbs up even though I'm not the biggest of slasher fans. Just make sure you get the uncut version.
Violence Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Booby Rating: 3 out of 5
Watch this trailer and see if it reminds you of a certain fake one from Grindhouse (2007).
"Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you."
This movie has it all! It has ninjas, Shaolin monks, Hare Krishnas, a "famous black monk from Harlem," a water spider assault team, naked kung fu fighting, and even the theme song from Ghostbusters! How could you not want to watch this? If I had seen this when I was a kid I think my head would have exploded from too much awesomeness.
This is your typical Chinese vs. Japanese kung fu movie, but not all of the Japanese guys are the baddies which is nice to see.
There was a ninja assault on the monastery at Shaolin which was thwarted by the skill of the monks who train there. In defeat, the leader of the ninjas committed harakiri which pissed of the ninja clan back in Japan and they swore to avenge his death by annihilating the Shaolin monastery even though the first assault failed.
But there is also a Japanese version of the Shaolin monastery that trains ninjas, and two of the students are dispatched to China to learn the ways of the Chinese Shaolin monks and Chinese Buddhism and bring these secrets back to Japan. These are the Japanese good guys.
The abbot of Shaolin decides that the monastery has a militant reputation because of all the kung fu tournaments that the monks have been entering so he closes Shaolin to outsiders in order to focus entirely on the study of Buddhism. Two American Hare Krishna warrior monks arrive at the same time as the two good Japanese ninjas, but since they are not allowed to enter the monastery to train, they fight with each other. Also, a black monk from Harlem is passing through the area and, after fighting with the good ninja guys because of a misunderstanding, he joins forces with the Hare Krishnas, the good Japanese guys and the monks of Shaolin to battle the bad Japanese ninja guys. The end.
If you're looking for a serious martial arts film, this isn't it. However, Ninja: The Final Duel is a bizarre and campy yet entertaining kung fu movie. Watch it for the lady who fights in the buff or the crazy ninja assault teams or the racist dialogue. Just don't watch it with high expectations. Perhaps a drink or two would help, as well.
Violence Rating: 2.5 out of 5 Booby Rating: 2 out of 5
Here's the scene where one of the good ninjas tries to send the Harlem monk to the "ghetto in the sky."
