Girls of Grindhouse: Caroline Munro

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Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974): Evil Ends Here.

Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter

When I made it known the other day that I think many of Tobe Hooper's movies are crap, a couple of people left suggestions of some of his earlier works that they thought were good.  One of those suggestions was Lifeforce which is about alien energy-sucking vampires which reminded me of this film, Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter.

This is one of the later attempts by Hammer Studios to find an audience amid the changing face of horror and the emergence of exploitation films in the 1970s.  Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter was intended to be the first in a series of films but the idea never caught on and Hammer Films eventually withered away.

How could you not want to see this movie?  It has a swashbuckling, tights wearing, cigar smoking, vampire killing German.  If that's not enough, it also stars Caroline Munro who is very easy on the eyes. What else do you need to know?  I'll give you a short summary anyway.  Something is stalking the woods and draining the fair young maidens of their youth and vitality, leaving wrinkled old hags in their stead.  At the request of one of the villagers, professional vampire hunters Captain Kronos of the Imperial Guard and his hunchback sidekick Grost travel to the area and rescue the gypsy Carla (Caroline Munro) along the way.  Once there, they kill some local thugs, slay some vampires and track down the vampire lord who is behind all of the life-draining murders.

"Quiet dear, the men are talking."

Captain Kronos is a good film and if it had more violence and nudity it could be a great film.  My impression is that this film came out a few years too late.  It should have been made in the late sixties instead of the mid-seventies.  Still, it's worth watching.

Violence Rating:  2.5 out of 5
Booby Rating:  1.5 out of 5

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Dracula A.D. 1972: The Count is Back, with an Eye for London's Hotpants... and a Taste for Everything

Dracula A.D. 1972

I will trade blows with any man who tells me that Bela Lugosi was a better Dracula than Christopher Lee.  Ok, maybe not.  But I will argue vehemently and shake my fist.  This is not Lee's best Dracula film, not by a very, very long shot but the campiness of Dracula A.D. 1972 makes it a fun ride.

The strangest element of these later Hammer films is the acting.  Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing are simply too damn good for these films.  I'm used to ludicrous story lines and cheesy special effects but usually a similar level of acting prowess accompanies these elements - but  not so with these Hammer films.  Lee and Cushing are great once again in Dracula A.D. 1972.

The film begins in 1872 with a frantic fight scene on a speeding coach between Count Dracula and Dr. Van Helsing.  The coach crashes, Dracula is impaled on a wooden spoke and both he and Van Helsing die as result of the crash.  A follower of The Count arrives at the scene, collects his ashy remains and buries them at a church near Van Helsing's grave.  One hundred years later a bored group of counterculture youths - led by guy who looks strikingly like Dracula's disciple from one hundred years before - decide to practice some good ole fashioned black magic to entertain themselves at the church where Dracula was buried.  But their leader has more sinister motives than just shits 'n giggles.  He performs a blood ritual and calls forth Dracula from the grave which was totally not groovy with the others.

"Get a haircut, hippie."

It just so happens that the buxom blonde in this black magic party is a descendant of Dr. Van Helsing and has a grandfather who is an expert in the occult and looks exactly like the Van Helsing who died one hundred years before.  He figures everything out and goes hunting for the resurrected Dracula and his minions.

If you're looking for the best of the Hammer Dracula films, this isn't it.  I'd recommend something like Horror of Dracula from 1958 as the best of the bunch.  However, if you're looking for a slightly campy and dated vampire tale with beautiful sets and solid acting, check out Dracula A.D. 1972.  It's worth watching.