Flavia The Heretic (1974)

She Launched a River of BLOOD

Flavia The Heretic

One probably wouldn't guess from the depravity of Beasts in Human Skin, but my background is in comparative religion so nunsploitation films are among my favorite of the grindhouse sub-genres.

Today we have another bloody booby-flick starring my favorite movie nun, Florinda Bolkan.  However, Flavia The Heretic isn't just another silly way to showcase gratuitous nudity and violence, although the film does contain ample amounts of both, it's a well acted and almost plausible account of a woman's rebellion against oppression and abuse within the cloistered life of the 15th century Catholic Church.  Like many exploitation films, it's a bit of feminism shrouded by blood and boobies.

Flavia (Florinda Bolkan) is forced into a convent by her nobleman father to prevent her from succumbing to the temptation of sin.  While there she witnesses horrendous abuses against her fellow nuns for even the most trivial of transgressions.  She also questions the male dominated hierarchy of the Church and why all three persons of the Holy Trinity are male.  Women seem to have no place in Catholic society except to be used and abused by the ruling males.  They are meant to be either sexless nuns or placid, demure breeders.

"Alright you little freshman bitches, AIR RAID!"

She manages to escape from the nunnery and flees with the assistance of a Jewish friend but before a romance can develop, they are captured.  She is flogged and returned to the convent and he is chained in the dungeon.

The Muslims invade Italy and their intrusion into Christian dominated Europe is welcomed by Flavia, and she becomes the lover of the leader of this invading army.  The Muslims rape and kill and do what invading armies do and Flavia stands by and watches it all, even as they push her father down a well to his death.  She rises in power and influence and when she is almost the equal of her Muslim lover, he abandons her.  The invading army leaves Italy and Flavia is left to face the wrath of the Christian people.

Flavia The Heretic is not perfect.  It can be slow at times and the battle scenes between the Christians and Muslims look amateurish by today's standards.  It does however feature plenty of gorrific torture scenes that make up for the crappy fights.  A nun gets hot tar poured on her breasts and belly and then her nipples cut off, a monk gets an unexpected backdoor delivery from a sharpened wooden stake, etc.  Also, for some reason a woman crawls into the hanging carcass of a cow.  Early in the film, a horse is castrated on screen as well.  I guess these may not be selling points to some, but this is an exploitation film after all.

Violence Rating/Index: 4 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index: 3.5 or 4ish out of 5

Buy the Uncensored 
International Version of 
Flavia the Heretic at TLACult.com



Rent Flavia the Heretic from GreenCine.com

The Grapes of Death (1978)

When the Wine Flows, the Terror Begins...

The Grapes of Death

Another zombie movie.  I mean another "infected people" movie.  I've seen The Grapes of Death in the past and it didn't blow my skirt up so I decided to watch it again to see if my opinion of it had changed.  Nope.  It's still not one of my favorite "zombie" films.  It's strange though because while I'm watching the movie, it actually seems like a pretty decent film and then later when I think of it, I remember it sucking.  So there you have it.  It's a good film while you're watching it.

Pesticides used on a vineyard are turning people who drink the wine made from these grapes into zombies.  (That was a pretty awkward sentence but I don't care.)  They aren't really zombies because they're still alive and don't eat people but their flesh oozes and falls off and they get really angry and kill non-infected people.

And so, a young woman named Elizabeth and her friend are traveling by train to this small French village when they are accosted by one of these infected.  The friend is killed and Elizabeth desperately runs across the countryside in search of safety and to find her boyfriend who lives in the village.  Her world becomes a nightmare as the non-infected are just as disturbing as the infected.  Life sucks for Elizabeth.

"Gimme' head till I'm dead."

What this film does have going for it is Brigitte Lahaie who will certainly be one of the future Girls of Grindhouse here on Beasts in Human Skin.  She does have a nude scene although it is quite brief.  That's another thing.  Since The Grapes of Death was directed by Jean Rollin and features adult film star Brigitte Lahaie, I was expecting a lot more nudity.  Oh well.


Violence Rating:  3.5ish or maybe 4 out of 5
Booby Rating:  2.5 out of 5

Get the Unrated Special Edition

The Grapes of Death 

at TLACult

Gwendoline (1984): Outrageous Adventures in the Kingdom of Women

Gwendoline

It seems there are a million versions of this film.  The one released in North America back in 1984 was called The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak and was cut for time and content to comfortably attain an R rating.  The version that I watched and am reviewing is simply called Gwendoline and is sixteen minutes longer... which means more boobies.

Gwendoline features Tawny Kitaen who everyone remembers from that Whitesnake video where she basically humps the hood of a Jaguar.  No?  Well, she also doesn't wear her seatbelt and it looks very dangerous.  Anyway, this is the first time I've seen her in a movie and her acting abilities surprised me.  She's never going to win an Academy Award but she was definitely better than I thought she would be.  I think Zabou Breitman is the hotter of the two ladies, though.

The plot of Gwendoline is worthy of its B-Movie classification.  It begins with Gwendoline (Tawny Kitaen) being kidnapped after she shipped herself in a wooden crate to China in an attempt to find her father after he disappeared searching for an elusive species of butterfly.  As she is being sold to the owner of a shady casino, Willard (Brent Huff) climbs through the window and kills all the bad guys in the room to collect a gambling debt.  Gwendoline immediately falls in love and she and her companion Beth (Zabou Breitman) somehow convince this rascal to escort them to the dangerous and mysterious Land of the Yik Yak to find the missing entomologist.  After deserts and jungles, the three of them come upon the legendary Land of Yik Yak - a society of scantily clad women warriors ruled by an evil queen who wants Gwendoline's life and Willard's seed. 

"I will turn the laughter of these slaves into wails of torment!"

 Gwendoline is certainly not a great movie, but it is a decent one.  It's a campy cult film with a nude Tawny Kitaen; a fun, mindless bit of action and romance worth watching to pass the time.  This is another film that I don't think is worth hunting down, but it's worth checking out if you happen to come across it.  If you have a thing for Tawny Kitaen however, this may be the greatest movie ever made.

Violence Rating:  2.5 out of 5
Booby Rating:  4 out of 5

And here is that Whitesnake video.  If you look closely, there's a nip slip at 2:19.

See all of Zabou's nude scenes at MrSkin.com!

See all of Tawny's nude scenes at MrSkin.com!

Get Gwendoline Unrated 
at TLACult.com