Horror Hotties: Linda Blair

Fuck, why not.  It's almost Halloween so bring on the naked pictures of Regan!  If you've read this other post then you know that I'm not particularly fond of the woman, but she did star in one of the most popular horror films of all time and a lot of other guys and probably some gals think she's hot.  I thought she was outstanding in The Exorcist and decent in Exorcist II: The Heretic, a movie that sucked but in which she looked pretty good.  But then she seemed to get all plump and bitchy which seems to be a paradox.  Aren't plump people supposed to be jolly?  But anyway, she sharted (I meant to type "started" but accidentally typed "sharted" and then I laughed so I'm leaving it) appearing in shitty B-movies, not really acting in them, but rather just kind of being there, saying her lines and probably wondering about the catering service and whether the donuts were jelly-filled or just cake.  So about this time I guess she needed money to put food in her belly and cocaine up her nose so she started posing nude for men's magazines like Playboy, which is where most of these pictures come from.

I don't want to be too mean.  When I say that I'm not fond of her, that's not entirely true.  Her figure during her more "rubenesque" days doesn't appeal to me and her lackluster performances during the '80s are certainly annoying and somewhat sad, but I do respect her as a person.  She has contributed quite a lot to the horror and exploitation genres, giving us films like Hell Night (1981), Chained Heat (1983), Savage Streets (1984), Red Heat (1985) and Savage Island (1985).  Sure, they're pretty terrible but they're entertaining.  But I respect her most for her dedication to animal rights and her humanitarian work.  She's a vegan and not only does she support organizations like PETA and Feed the Children, she has her own charity called the Linda Blair WorldHeart Foundation which helps rescue abused and neglected animals.

She still does occasional TV work, sometimes to promote animal rights like when she was on "Pit Boss" with Shorty Rossi who developed a cigar with master blender A.J. Fernandez called the Diesel Shorty which is freakin' awesome and which I'd be smoking later today if it wasn't so goddamn cold, windy and rainy. 

In conclusion, if you get the chance, try the Diesel Shorty because it is a damn fine cigar.

Linda Blair also had a two year "friendship" with Rick James.  Spooky stuff.

Savage Streets (1984) Trailer

They raped her sister... killed her best friend.  Now she must seek revenge! 

Get it at TLACult

"After nearly being rundown by a gang known as the Scars, Brenda (Linda Blair) and friends trash the leader's car. Gang leader, Jake, exacts his revenge by getting his cohorts to gang-rape her mute-deaf sister, Heather (in a gloriously nuanced role by Linnea Quigley). Armed with a crossbow and a bad attitude, Linda Blair sets out to avenge her mute-deaf sister while blazing a bloody, Bronson-inspired trail through '80s Los Angeles.

 Linda Blair graces us with a nice, long, gratuitous shot of her formerly-possessed titties, while Linnea Quigley gives up her pert little pair playing a deaf-mute who gets gang raped on a men's room floor by a bunch of leather jacket dudes. Plus, Linda Blair rips off some bitchy cheerleader's top in the middle of class, leaving her to run around screaming with her bra-less pair bouncing about for all to see and Suzee Slater gets her top ripped off by the leather jacket dudes.

Loaded with hot nudity, switchblade-wielding, revenge-minded bitches and catty high school nonsense, this exploitation classic perfectly blends brutal rape-revenge movies with raunchy high school titty movies leaving us with a truly satisfying slice of '80s awesomeness."  -TLACult

If you watch the trailer then there really isn't any need to watch the entire movie because they pretty much tell you everything that happens.  Ok, there are a few reasons to watch the movie:  Piss-poor actors in their mid-twenties pretending to be teenagers (which isn't as bad as a 36 year old Caroline Munro in Slaughter High but still...), Linnea Quigley gets naked, and Linda Blair's performance is so horrendous that she won a Razzie Award.

Yes, perhaps I'm being a little too hard on this Death Wish rip-off.  If you're drunk, it's really not that bad.

I used to think Linda Blair was hot, but now I think she looks like she almost has an extra chromosome.  Not an entire extra one, but maybe half of one.  What I'm saying is, it looks like Linda Blair has Down Syndrome, which is probably an insult to people who actually do have Down Syndrome because a lot of them are more talented and better looking.  Corky (Chris Burke) from "Life goes On" was a hell of a lot better at acting.  Am I rambling?  Yes, yes I am.

In conclusion, after The Exorcist, Linda Blair became a terrible actress and I no longer think she's attractive.

"I've been possessed by cake."