Hausu (1977)

Hausu a.k.a. House

Not too long ago I reviewed The Hearse; a haunted house movie so bad that it made me a little angry.  So now, to make up for reviewing that piece of crap,  I present a Japanese film that is so bizarre that it must be seen to be believed.  It's also a haunted house film and it's a good one.  It's hard to describe but Hausu is kind of like what would happen if Takashi Miike, Tim Burton, Sam Raimi and Dario Argento got together to make a horror movie for kids with blood and boobies in it.  And it's probably best if you watch it while you're high.

A group of high school girls, each with a name to describe their primary ability or attribute such as Gorgeous, Kung-fu, Melody, Mac for stomach, Sweet, Prof, and Fantasy, need a place to go for summer vacation and they decide to visit Gorgeous's aunt and her creepy old house in the country. 

Strange things begin to happen to the girls immediately.  They board the train and Gorgeous's aunt's white cat magically appears there with them.  None of the girls seem to think that's odd.  They arrive at the house after a strange encounter with a portly watermelon vendor, and make themselves at home with the creepy white haired aunt and her creepy white haired cat.  The girls tidy up the place and help with the meals and then they start to disappear one by one.

First, Mac is found decapitated but still cheerful and cheeky after going to retrieve a watermelon that was chilling in the well, then the other girls begin to die in situations related to their own personal attributes.  Is the aunt responsible?  Is the cat really a witch?  Is it the house itself that is consuming the girls?  I won't ruin it for you.

I can't even properly describe this film.  Everything including the sets, the effects, the dialogue, the plot - I mean everything - is just bizarre, but it works.  I can't recommend Hausu enough.  It's a great movie and perhaps even better when you're high.

Violence Rating/Index: 2.5 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index: 2 out of 5
Pipe Smoking Rating: 0.5 out of 5



Watch the trailer and it will give you an idea of what to expect from this film.

Buy House Unrated on DVD 
or Blu-ray at TLACult.com


Rent Hausu from GreenCine.com.

The Hearse (1980)

There is a door between life and death and now, that door is open! 

The Hearse

I usually recommend that people watch every movie that I review, but this may be the exception.  The Hearse is just a bad movie and not in a so-bad-it's-good sort of way, as so many of the films that Zoltan and I review are.  It's boring, predictable and riddled with ghost story clichés like slamming doors and reflections of dead relatives in mirrors.  Also, most of the performances are sub-par and the the leading lady (Trish Van Devere) has all the charisma of a hemorrhoid.  She's supposed to be an attractive young woman and all the townsfolk refer to her as "that pretty city girl," yet she looks like she's about 40 and is average at best.  She's supposed to be fit and limber as well, yet during a scene where she's awkwardly stretching before a run, it looks like her lower back seizes up on her.  Then when she finally gets to stretch her legs and "run" she shambles along as if she's bound at the ankles with invisible shackles.  She's the oldest and most nonathletic "athletic girl" I think I've ever seen.

And to add insult to injury, there's hardly any violence and not one booby sighting in the whole film - not that I'd want to see this hag topless anyway.  And I mean no disrespect to George C. Scott who married the woman.  I'm sure she's a lovely person, she just isn't believable as an object of desire.  The only redeeming factor of this travesty known as The Hearse is that for a few brief moments we get to see a young and arrogant Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald) of Happy Gilmore fame.

"Ouch, my bunions!"

And now the plot.  A recently divorced woman moves from the big city into her dead aunt's house in an isolated, xenophobic community.  She discovers her aunt's diary which tells of a love interest and a conversion to Satanism (I guess the two go hand in hand).  The people of the town hate Jane (Van Devere) because her aunt worshiped Lucifer, and nobody will come near the house because they think it's haunted.  Jane starts seeing weird shit and having nightmares and is often followed by an old hearse driven by a disfigured and moustachioed gentleman.  Anyway, Jane begins a romance with a mysterious fellow and things go bad.

If you want to see an excellent supernatural horror with Trish Van Devere and her husband George C. Scott, watch The Changeling (1980).  If you want to see a crazy, so-bizarre-it's-good haunted house movie, watch the Japanese film Hausu (1977).  If you're eight years old and your parents won't let you see scary movies or films with blood and/or boobies, watch The Hearse.

Violence Rating: 1 out of 5
Booby Rating: 1 out of 5

Get The Hearse as part of  
Drive-In Cult Classics Volume 2 
at TLACult.com