Monday, July 11, 2011

Flavia The Heretic (1974)

She Launched a River of BLOOD

Flavia The Heretic
One probably wouldn't guess from the depravity of Beasts in Human Skin, but my background is in comparative religion so nunsploitation films are among my favorite of the grindhouse sub-genres.

Today we have another bloody booby-flick starring my favorite movie nun, Florinda Bolkan.  However, Flavia The Heretic isn't just another silly way to showcase gratuitous nudity and violence, although the film does contain ample amounts of both, it's a well acted and almost plausible account of a woman's rebellion against oppression and abuse within the cloistered life of the 15th century Catholic Church.  Like many exploitation films, it's a bit of feminism shrouded by blood and boobies.

Flavia (Florinda Bolkan) is forced into a convent by her nobleman father to prevent her from succumbing to the temptation of sin.  While there she witnesses horrendous abuses against her fellow nuns for even the most trivial of transgressions.  She also questions the male dominated hierarchy of the Church and why all three persons of the Holy Trinity are male.  Women seem to have no place in Catholic society except to be used and abused by the ruling males.  They are meant to be either sexless nuns or placid, demure breeders.

"Alright you little freshman bitches, AIR RAID!"
She manages to escape from the nunnery and flees with the assistance of a Jewish friend but before a romance can develop, they are captured.  She is flogged and returned to the convent and he is chained in the dungeon.

The Muslims invade Italy and their intrusion into Christian dominated Europe is welcomed by Flavia, and she becomes the lover of the leader of this invading army.  The Muslims rape and kill and do what invading armies do and Flavia stands by and watches it all, even as they push her father down a well to his death.  She rises in power and influence and when she is almost the equal of her Muslim lover, he abandons her.  The invading army leaves Italy and Flavia is left to face the wrath of the Christian people.

Flavia The Heretic is not perfect.  It can be slow at times and the battle scenes between the Christians and Muslims look amateurish by today's standards.  It does however feature plenty of gorrific torture scenes that make up for the crappy fights.  A nun gets hot tar poured on her breasts and belly and then her nipples cut off, a monk gets an unexpected backdoor delivery from a sharpened wooden stake, etc.  Also, for some reason a woman crawls into the hanging carcass of a cow.  Early in the film, a horse is castrated on screen as well.  I guess these may not be selling points to some, but this is an exploitation film after all.

Violence Rating/Index: 4 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index: 3.5 or 4ish out of 5



Buy the Uncensored 
International Version of 
Flavia the Heretic at TLACult.com
Flavia the Heretic

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Rent Flavia the Heretic from GreenCine.com

Friday, July 8, 2011

Things (1989): Great Canuxploitation or Greatest Canuxploitation?

So I came across this clip on FilmDrunk who got it from Evan at Severin Films who I'm guessing is the great Evan Husney, and now I'm sharing it with you.

In 1989, it became the first Canadian shot-on-Super 8 gore shocker commercially released on VHS. Today, it remains perhaps the most bizarre, depraved and mind-boggling chunk of ‘Canuxploitaion’ ever unleashed upon humanity. Adult film superstar Amber Lynn and co-writer/producer Barry J. Gillis star in this surreal saga about two friends who visit a remote cabin, only to discover a womb of monstrous horror that demands graphic dismemberment. It’s an inexplicable orgy of eye ripping, beer guzzling, boob baring, skull drilling, sandwich making, chain sawing, bad acting and post-sync dubbing from co-writer/producer/director Andrew Jordan that has spawned its own disturbing cult of fans. Some will be repulsed. Others may be transformed forever. But you have never seen anything like THINGS.


THINGS Clip: BRUTAL! GHASTLY! HORRIBLE! from Intervision Picture Corp. on Vimeo.


Things
Get Things at TLACult.com

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Hobo With A Shotgun is out on DVD and Blu-ray

If you didn't know already, Hobo with a Shotgun is out on DVD and Blu-ray so go pick up a copy, grab a few beers and watch some gory canuxploitation goodness.  It is glorious.

A train pulls into the station – it’s the end of the line. A hobo jumps from a freight car hoping for a fresh start in a new city. Instead, he finds himself trapped in an urban hell. This is a world where criminals rule the streets and Drake, the city’s crime boss, reigns supreme alongside his sadistic murderous sons, Slick & Ivan. Amidst the chaos, the hobo comes across a pawn shop window displaying a secondhand lawn mower. He dreams of making the city a beautiful place and starting a new life for himself. But as the brutality continues to rage around him, he notices a shotgun hanging above the lawn mower... Quickly, he realizes the only way to make a difference in this town is with that gun in his hand and two shells in its chamber...

DISC SPECS
- Format: AC-3, Closed-captioned, Subtitled, Widescreen
- Language: English
- Subtitles: Spanish
- Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)
- Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1
- Number of discs: 1
- Rated: R (Restricted)
- Studio: Magnolia Home Entertainment
- DVD Release Date: July 5, 2011
- Run Time: 86 minutes

DISC FEATURES
- More Blood, More Heart: The Making of Hobo with a Shotgun
- Behind the Scenes Interactive 'Shotgun' Film Mode
- Alternate Ending
- Deleted Scenes
- Video Blogs
- HDNet: A Look at Hobo with a Shotgun
- Original 'Hobo with a Shotgun' Contest Winning Trailer
- Faux Trailer Contest Winner
- TV Spots
- Original Redband Trailer
- Theatrical Greenband Trailer
- Commentary with Jason Eisener (Director) and Rutger Hauer
- Commentary with Jason Eisener (Director), Rob Cotterill (Producer), John Davies (Writer), and David Brunt (Original - 'Hobo with a Shotgun')




Hobo with a Shotgun
Get Hobo with a Shotgun 
at TLACult.com

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Ilsa: The Wicked Warden (1977)

Her prison was HOTTER THAN HELL!

Ilsa: The Wicked Warden
Hooray for torture porn!  Ilsa is back but this time she's not trying to create an army of female super soldiers for the Führer.  Instead, she's the sadistic warden of a South American "clinic" which superficially functions as a treatment center for women who suffer from various sexual disorders such as nymphomania, homosexuality and "prostitution."  I'm not really sure how that last one is a disorder.  As you can imagine, Ilsa and her henchmen and henchwomen have sinister plans for these girls.  It's torture porn so I'm sure you can guess what happens to them.  That's right, torture and porn.

The plot is more complicated than Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS but it's still not exactly complex.  One of the inmates of Ilsa's clinic escapes during shower time, flees through the jungle and is severely wounded by her pursuers before finally collapsing at the door of a local doctor (Franco).  Ilsa (Thorne) reclaims the girl even though she needs immediate medical attention, but not before the girl tells the doctor about the horrible things that go on at the clinic. He makes it his mission to expose Ilsa as the monster she is and close down her institution, but he doesn't have the evidence necessary to do so.  Abbie, the escapee's little sister also wants to expose Ilsa as a sadistic tyrant and find out what happened to her sibling so she conspires with the doctor to enter the clinic as a patient to gather evidence.  Unfortunately, she gets acid squirted up her hoo-ha but she does figure out what the clinic is all about.  It turns out Ilsa is torturing these girls and forcing them to get it on with deranged men and sometimes women for a local porn producer.  The brutality is filmed and then sold as underground pornography.  See, I told you.  Torture and porn. 

"Guess where my baton is."
Ilsa: The Wicked Warden is pure exploitation goodness, and personally I like it better than She-Wolf of the SS.  I'm not the biggest fan of the original so that's not saying much, but this one really is worth watching.  This is the kind of film that people think of when they think of grindhouse cinema. 

Violence Rating/Index: 4.5 out of 5
Booby Rating/Index: 5 out of 5




Ilsa, The Wicked Warden
Get Ilsa: The Wicked Warden at TLACult

Monday, July 4, 2011

Vibrations good like Sunkist

To celebrate the 4th of July, here's one of the greatest American films of all time.  I'm pretty sure being in this movie is what gave Christina Applegate cancer.





Everything Is Terrible!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Grindhouse Movie Poster Extravaganza #9! Canada Day Edition

Happy Canada Day to all my fellow Canucks.  Have a great weekend and remember to drink responsibly!   Like that's going to happen.  Here are just a few posters from the many Canadian grindhouse films that have been made over the years, including Claudia Jennings's last movie.  Later!

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