Hitler Preferred Blondes

But so did cavemen.  Here he is about to play "hide the bratwurst" with some naked Bavarian beauties so obviously being Fuhrer had its rewards.  I mean sure, eventually you're going to have to blow your brains out in an underground bunker with a frumpy brunette at your side, but before that happens you get to prance through Alpine meadows with some buxom blondes (and a redhead?).  You take the good, you take the bad...

I really wish I knew the source of this picture.  A publicity photo for a movie perhaps?

Red Nights of the Gestapo (1977) Trailer

Frauleins in Uniform (1973)

Hot acts of wild, unimagined love

As to be expected from this Swiss nazisploitation film, these frauleins spend as much time out of uniform as the do in.  These young, German ladies service their Nazi soldiers in the barracks, against the trees in the forest, in train bathrooms, in fields, in mud, against the walls and in every room of the house during Nazi Party parties...  By the time these fighting men reach the front lines it's amazing they have any energy to fight at all.  Most of the sex isn't even part of the plot development.  It just goes on in the background as the characters walk through a scene as if it's an everyday occurrence and nothing unusual.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining!

Near the end of the Second World War, the numerically superior Russian troops are inflicting heavy losses on the Nazi army and some buxom German blondes and a redhead or two decide that they have an obligation to Hitler and the Fatherland to boost morale by pleasuring the German soldiers.  Of course, they find it impossible to control themselves and end up pleasuring the locals and each other as well.

Because this is a Swiss nazisploitation film, it has some unique qualities and a different overall feel than its Italian produced counterparts.  First of all, the Nazis are not all monsters.  In other films of this genre the Nazi soldiers are depicted as unfeeling, sex-crazed demons who live for nothing other than the pleasures of torture, death and depraved sex-acts.  In Frauleins in Uniform, the Nazis are certainly sex-crazed but not demonic.  This movie is also significantly less gory than the Italian films with a distinctive lack of torture and rape.  There's still rape, just less of it.  Overall I'd say Frauleins in Uniform focuses more on the action of the battlefield and less on the depravity that takes place in secret underground bunkers and laboratories.

One thing that this Swiss incarnation shares with the Italian nazisploitation films is the long hair and bushy sideburns of the Nazis.  So, you know, there's that.

Unlike many, many, many people out there in internet-land, I actually like this movie.  The primary focus is on the girls and their sexual exploits in the first half of the film, which is a good thing, but it started to drag after a bit.  But then the focus shifted to the battlefields (somehow they even had the budget for a tank battle) and I regained interest.  This isn't Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan but the combat sequences are surprisingly impressive for an exploitation film.

Watch it for the boobies and '70s bush but don't have too high of expectations for the explosions and action carnage.  They're good for an exploitation film, but they're not actually "good" compared to a modern war film.  Still, the combination of boobs and blood on the battlefield makes an entertaining film.


This is another one of those films with a number of names so if you're looking for a copy you can find it under the titles: Eine Armee Gretchen, Frauleins in Uniform, Fraulein Without a Uniform, SS Cutthroats, The Cutthroats or She Devils of the SS.

Violence Rating: 3 out of 5
Booby Rating: 5 out of 5

"Grizzly Adams did have a beard."

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The Beast in Heat (1977)

Your Days Are Numbered

The Beast in Heat/S.S. Hell Camp

Where the hell do I even begin with this cinematic gem.  This is a movie about how the Italians were in the wrong during WWII, but the Germans were just batshit crazy and pure evil.  It seems to have two parts that are haphazardly put together to make a simultaneously boring and entertaining exploitation film.  Let me explain.  The Beast in Heat or S.S. Hell Camp is actually composed of scenes from several films which have been pilfered and combined to make this cinematic masterpiece; most of which is stock war footage or fragments from legitimate war movies.  Those are the boring parts.  The new stuff - the exploitation stuff - is the entertaining part, and not because it's good but because it is so bad that it's comical.

There is an incredibly hot Nazi scientist (Macha Magall) who is trying to create a German super-soldier through genetic experimentation.  This seems to be the basis for just about every Nazisploitation film but I'm not complaining.  Who needs plot when you have hot Nazi scientists?  Anyhoo, the result of these experiments is not a chiseled, blond super-soldier but a mutant monkey-man (Salvatore Baccaro) with a huge libido and no manners whatsoever.  Naturally, the Nazis satiate his horny blood-lust by tossing captured local girls into his cage periodically.

Meanwhile, Italian partisans scheme to rid their village of these Nazi devils because, as I mentioned before, the Germans are pure evil.  They (the Germans, not the partisans) rape the local ladies and shoot their babies!  Evil!  It's easy to spot the partisans from the general population because they have moustaches and wear berets.  So yeah, they fight the Germans, gain the upper hand and eventually toss the incredibly hot Nazi doctor into the cage with her mutant creation where she gets a taste of her own medicine, and by "her own medicine" I mean she gets raped to death.  The end.

The Beast in Heat is certainly worth watching, although those living in the UK may have trouble finding a copy because this movie is banned there.  I take that as an indication of exploitation quality.  If you want to see a freak rip the pubic hair off his victims or watch prisoners get their guts ripped out by cute little guinea pigs that are supposed to be rats, then this is your film.  The dialogue is so horrendous that it becomes humorous so that's a selling point, as well.  I must warn you however that in addition to the gratuitous female nudity, there's also a significant amount of wang in this movie.  Penises, they're everywhere!  And the partisan/war parts of the film are pretty damn boring but the rest of the film makes up for it.






Violence Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Booby Rating: 4.5 out of 5

"And the raven was called sin. Say it, the raven was called sin."

Get it at TLACult

Ilsa: She Wolf of the S.S.

Also Known As

• Ilsa - Die Hündinnen vom Liebeslager 7 (Germany)

Main Details

• Released in 1974
• Color
• Runtime: 92 min | 96 min
• Aspect Ratio: (1.66:1)
• Production Co: Aeteas Filmproduktions
• Distribution Co: Cambist Films (1975) (USA) (theatrical) | Cinépix Film Properties (CFP) (1975) (Canada) (theatrical)

Cast and Crew

• Directed by Don Edmonds
• Written by Jonah Royston, John C.W. Saxton (as Jonah Royston)
• Starring: Dyanne Thorne, Gregory Knoph, Tony Mumolo, Maria Marx, Nicolle Riddell, Jo Jo Deville, Sandy Richman, George 'Buck' Flower (as C.D. Lafleuer), Rodina Keeler, Richard Kennedy (as Wolfgang Roehm), Lance Marshall, David F. Friedman, John F. Goff, Wayne Beauchamp, Colleen Brennan, Sandy Dempsey, Uschi Digard, Peggy Sipots, Donna Young
• Produced by David F. Friedman (as Herman Traeger)
• Cinematography by Glenn Roland
• Film Editing by Kurt Schni

This is what people think of when they think of grindhouse cinema.  Movies like Knightriders or Our Man Flint don't seem to belong in the same genre as films like this.  People tend to regard grindhouse films as poorly acted and plotless vehicles designed only to show gratuitous sex and violence on the silver screen.  That's essentially what Ilsa: She Wolf of the S.S. is.  It's 96 minutes of exposed flesh and sexual violence - a sexploitation film gussied up in Nazi garb.

 

While this is considered a grindhouse classic because it epitomizes the lowest of the low of the genre, I'm not a raving fan.  Perhaps I have just become desensitized over the years or I've seen too many films which try to shock the audience through graphic depictions of violence and torture, but I found Ilsa to be boring.  The only time it ceased to be boring was near the end where the action sequence was so poorly done that it became comical... which was a pleasant change from the tedium of the rest of the film.  Yes, there is nudity.  In fact, there is so much nudity that it was difficult to find screenshots that didn't have naked women in them.

Now for the story.  Ilsa is a middle aged buxom blonde scientist who is looking for love in all the wrong places.  She's also the Nazi warden of a death camp.  Both men and women are housed at this camp but used for different purposes.  Ilsa sleeps with the men of her choosing and then when they fail to satisfy her sexual needs, she has them castrated.   The women who are not given to the Nazi troops as sex slaves are used as guinea pigs for Ilsa's dialobical and pointless experiments.  She has a theory that women can endure more pain than men and would therefore make better troops. 

Yep, that's the plot.  Understandably, the prisoners don't like their housing arrangements and try to escape.  If you're brave enough, you can watch the movie to see if they succeed.  Please don't think I hate this film.  It is indeed a grindhouse classic and worth watching, but just don't expect it to be anything more than grindhouse sex and violence.

Booby Rating: 5 out of 5
Violence Rating: 4.5 out of 5

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