Frauleins in Uniform (1973)

Hot acts of wild, unimagined love

As to be expected from this Swiss nazisploitation film, these frauleins spend as much time out of uniform as the do in.  These young, German ladies service their Nazi soldiers in the barracks, against the trees in the forest, in train bathrooms, in fields, in mud, against the walls and in every room of the house during Nazi Party parties...  By the time these fighting men reach the front lines it's amazing they have any energy to fight at all.  Most of the sex isn't even part of the plot development.  It just goes on in the background as the characters walk through a scene as if it's an everyday occurrence and nothing unusual.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining!

Near the end of the Second World War, the numerically superior Russian troops are inflicting heavy losses on the Nazi army and some buxom German blondes and a redhead or two decide that they have an obligation to Hitler and the Fatherland to boost morale by pleasuring the German soldiers.  Of course, they find it impossible to control themselves and end up pleasuring the locals and each other as well.

Because this is a Swiss nazisploitation film, it has some unique qualities and a different overall feel than its Italian produced counterparts.  First of all, the Nazis are not all monsters.  In other films of this genre the Nazi soldiers are depicted as unfeeling, sex-crazed demons who live for nothing other than the pleasures of torture, death and depraved sex-acts.  In Frauleins in Uniform, the Nazis are certainly sex-crazed but not demonic.  This movie is also significantly less gory than the Italian films with a distinctive lack of torture and rape.  There's still rape, just less of it.  Overall I'd say Frauleins in Uniform focuses more on the action of the battlefield and less on the depravity that takes place in secret underground bunkers and laboratories.

One thing that this Swiss incarnation shares with the Italian nazisploitation films is the long hair and bushy sideburns of the Nazis.  So, you know, there's that.

Unlike many, many, many people out there in internet-land, I actually like this movie.  The primary focus is on the girls and their sexual exploits in the first half of the film, which is a good thing, but it started to drag after a bit.  But then the focus shifted to the battlefields (somehow they even had the budget for a tank battle) and I regained interest.  This isn't Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan but the combat sequences are surprisingly impressive for an exploitation film.

Watch it for the boobies and '70s bush but don't have too high of expectations for the explosions and action carnage.  They're good for an exploitation film, but they're not actually "good" compared to a modern war film.  Still, the combination of boobs and blood on the battlefield makes an entertaining film.


This is another one of those films with a number of names so if you're looking for a copy you can find it under the titles: Eine Armee Gretchen, Frauleins in Uniform, Fraulein Without a Uniform, SS Cutthroats, The Cutthroats or She Devils of the SS.

Violence Rating: 3 out of 5
Booby Rating: 5 out of 5

"Grizzly Adams did have a beard."

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Inglorious Bastards (1977)

Whatever the Dirty Dozen Did, They Do It Dirtier!

Inglorious Bastards

This is the original 1977 (or 1978, depending on who you talk to) version of Inglorious Bastards.  The important thing to know about this movie is that it stars Bo Svenson who played Ivan in the two-part Season Three episode of Magnum P.I called "Did You See the Sunrise" where Thomas Magnum asks Ivan that famous question, "Did you see the sunrise this morning?" and then blows the Soviet colonel's head off with his M1911.  It was awesome.  Sure, Bo Svenson also played the minister in Kill Bill Vol. 2 but that' doesn't really matter because the important thing is, he was in Magnum P.I....  Fred Williamson is also in this move.

Inglorious Bastards really isn't that similar to the 2009 Tarantino film, Inglourious Basterds .  It takes place behind enemy lines in Nazi occupied France but that's pretty much where the similarities end.

A group of ragtag criminals are being transported to a military prison when their truck comes under fire from a German plane.  Because of the ensuing ruckus, the prisoners manage to escape and decide to make their way to freedom in Switzerland.  During their travels, hi-jinks and death are their companions as they kill Nazis, accidentally kill Americans, befriend a German deserter, get chased by naked gun-wielding Nazi women and finally, in an attempt to earn their freedom, agree to blow up a bridge and steal rocket technology from a German train for the American government.  Not all of the Bastards make it.

"I know you Thomas,  I had you for three months at Duc Hua."

Inglorious Bastards is a fun film.  It has plenty of action, some racist and less than politically correct banter, and a little bit of nudity thrown in for good measure.  The Deuce calls it "The Dirty Dozen with nudity and a shot of blaxploitation" and I think that's an apt description.  It's definitely worth watching.

Violence Rating:  3.5 out of 5
Booby Rating:  2 out of 5

And Happy Birthday, Quentin Tarantino!

And not a single fuck was given that day.

 
Buy The Inglorious Bastards 
Unrated DVD or Blu-ray 
at TLACult.com